Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
