I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize