i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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