We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
