Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
