so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
