i already hear my dad disowning me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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