If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize