Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
pray to the hookup gods
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
