yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
