when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
