i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
