I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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