Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
