Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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