she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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