I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do herpes really smell.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
