You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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