I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
