We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
