I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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