singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
