you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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