Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
