Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
