we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
