When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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