just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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