we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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