I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
