I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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