I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Yo dont text me then not text me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
