I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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