How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
