I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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