At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
