This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
did i just pee glitter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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