I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
