He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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