I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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