I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
