I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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