He uses pillows to masturbate.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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