The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
