I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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