Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
