He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
