She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
