honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
