There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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