Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
