I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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