So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
