she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
