oh god the rape fog is back!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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