So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
