I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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